Attack of the Fan Girls
by Artchic528
Summary: Legolas was just minding his own business when a strange vortex apears in his forest. From it comes fan girls. Who conjured up this vortex and how will Poor Leggy poo get rid of those anoying fangirls. R&R Please.
1. Fangirls Arrive

Okay here is a short sweet funny story I thought you might enjoy.

* * *

One warm sunny day in Middle Earth, Arowyn was walking about Mirkwood Forest. She came upon Legolas who was making some arrows for his bow.  
  
"Good Day, Lady Arowyn! What has brought you to my forest home?" He greeted her.  
  
"Good Day, Legolas! I am waiting for Aragorn to come. He promised to meet me here." She answered.  
  
Suddenly between two trees adjacent to them, a spinning vortex appeared and from, it a horde of screaming adolescent girls came. Arowyn ran away screaming and Legolas just ran.  
  
"What vile deviltry is this?" he exclaimed as he ran. Form where the vortex was a soft yet deep voice could be heard chuckling.  
  
No matter what he did the girls wouldn't leave him alone. He finally managed to wear them down running and jumped up into a tree, where he then resumed making arrows. The girls, satisfied that their prince was going nowhere and unable to get to him, fell a sleep at the base of the tree.  
  
From up ahead in the woods Aragorn arrived on his horse.  
  
"Legolas, dear friend. What has you up in that tree and those young maidens at the foot?" He inquired as he surveyed the seen.  
  
"I do not know." Legolas replied. "A vortex just appeared form those trees there and spewed forth these strange women."  
  
Aragorn examined the spot where Legolas had pointed, and found the ground to be slightly scorched.  
  
"Do you see this?" Aragorn asked  
  
"Yes, my keen elven eyes se it perfectly."  
  
"Than you know that this is dark magic. Magic that only one person dares perform now that Sauron has been destroyed." Aragorn said.  
  
"You surly do not mean..."  
  
"Yes. Sauromon."  
  
"Then let's be off." Legolas said jumping down from the tree, careful to not wake the girls. He whistled and from the distant wood cam forth a white horse without a saddle. Legolas mounted it and both man and elf rode off towards Sauromon's tower, Isengaurd. However, as they were leaving the thundering of horse hoofs had awoken the girls and they ran screaming after the riders.

* * *

When they arrived they saw Isengaurd as they had left it, in ruin. All the remained untouched was the tower. They approached the tower with the girls not too far behind.  
  
"Sauromon!" Demanded Legolas as he went inside. He found Sauromon on the floor doubled over in laughter a lantiern standing on a podium next to him. In his crooked old hand lay a badly repaired staff. ( If you remember in the book Sauromon's staff gets destroyed.)  
  
"Sauromon!" Legolas said again with even more malice. "Why have you sent forth such a barbarous horde of girls to hound me?"  
  
"You!! They were after both of us if my memory serves me, dear friend." Aragorn called from outside.  
  
"Those girls," Sauron said as he gained his composer, "Are called Fan girls. They are from a time far in the future. They have read of your adventures and have become quite smitten with you my dear elf. All I had to do was come to there time and ask them to come back here. They were easily convinced."  
  
"Smitten? With me?" The elf looked surprised. "I have no interest in taking a wife, and if I had let me assure you, I would have surly married another elf."  
  
"Well now, you have a rather large problem on your hands." Sauromon chuckled again. Clearly taking delight in their torture.

* * *

Well, well, well. That nasty evil wizard is back to his old tricks again.  
  
Legolas: so it was you who sent forth this deviltry. I shall behead you at once!  
  
Me: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, elf boy. Hold those fighting knifes at bay. I will correct this I promise.  
  
Legolas: You better or it will be my bow that will be doing the taking next. 


	2. Fangirls Reak Havock

Do you like so far?

* * *

As Legolas and Sauromon were talking a third rider approached on a white horse.  
  
"Legolas, Aragorn." The rider said with grave concern.  
  
"Gandalf! What brings you here in the middle of our interrogation?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"There have been disturbing activities arising in the lands." He said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Mysterious vortexes."  
  
"I have seen one." Legolas said emerging form the tower, hands full of Sauromon's robe, Sauromon, still in it. "In Mirkwood."  
  
"Well there are two others. One in the shire. Poor Merry and Pippin, Its all they can do to lock them selves in the Brandybuck House. The other I'm afraid is in Gondor."  
  
"My homeland." Aragorn mourned.  
  
"Yes," Gandalf continued. "I have found by looking over the library at Minus Truth, that to reverse the effects of the vortex the girls much each be given a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"WHAT!!" Both Aragorn and Legolas shouted at the same time.  
  
"SAUROMON YOU SHALL PAY!!!!" Legolas hollered, fire burning in his cool blue eyes.  
  
"AND AFTER LEGOLAS IS DONE I SHALL INFLICT MY OWN PUNISHMENT!!!" Aragorn added.  
  
"There is no time for that, go and undo this terrible deed." Gandalf said.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn both reluctantly mounted there steeds.  
  
"As for our friend here," Gandalf continued his grey eyes sparkling with evil delight. "I shall find some means of entertainment."  
  
"Gulp" Sauromon said as the riders road off grinning. "You can't just leave me here with him!"  
  
"Okay, Legolas you go to the Shire and I'll go to Gondor and let's see that we straighten out this mess."  
  
"Fine." Legolas said.  
  
Just then the horde of fan girls approached them screaming.  
  
"Let's get this over with." Legolas said reluctantly.  
  
"Right." Aragorn said as reluctantly.  
  
They jumped off their steeds in unison and began kissing the fan girls as fast as they could. TO their surprise as they kissed each fan girl, they disappeared.  
  
"I have kissed 21 girls!" Aragorn said proudly.  
  
"And I, 132." Legolas said wearily after kissing two more girls, "It seams as if they prefer me over you."  
  
"Hold your tongue, elf." Aragorn snapped as he kissed another fan girl.  
  
Finally after an exhaustive afternoon the horde had disappeared entirely.  
  
The riders decided to rest the night and ride to there destinations tomorrow.  
  
"Could my lips be any sorer?" Inquired the elf.  
  
"I could arrange for that, dear friend, if that suits you?" Said an extremely annoyed Aragorn.

* * *

He, he. I think Strider is a tad jealous don't you?  
  
Coming up! The third and last part. 


	3. Fangirls Leave

Well our heroes seam to be in a bit of a situation don't they?  
  
Here's the exiting conclusion.

* * *

Merry and Pippin had been strolling along the Brandywine River when a vortex appeared along the banks.  
  
"What do you suppose that is?" Merry asked.  
  
"I haven't the slightest." Pippin said.  
  
From the vortex a horde of girls appeared.  
  
"Look Pippin, young girls."  
  
"Young human girls you mean," Pippin corrected his cousin. "I may be young but I am not foolish."  
  
"Is that so?" Merry said as the girls ran after them both. He ran into the house leaving poor Pippin alone outside. "Then why are just standing there whilst they approach in a cloud of fury?"  
  
Pippin soon realized that he was out in the open  
  
"Hey let me in!" Pippin demanded as the girls neared him.  
  
They ran into the house and bombarded them selves in.

* * *

Legolas approached to find the hobbit hole door blocked by at least fifty fan girls. From a distance he could see Frodo making his way toward the Hobbit hole to pay his cousins a visit.  
  
"Frodo Will you help me to banish these fan girls to their own time?"  
  
"Huh? What are fan girls?" He asked confused.  
  
Legolas sighed and told him everything.  
  
"Oh Okay!"  
  
By then the fan girls had noticed Frodo behind them and began to rampage him. Merry and Pippin came out and found the elf and the hobbit kissing the girls. As each girl received a kiss they disappeared.  
  
"Let's join in, Pip." Merry said enthusiastic.  
  
"Hey! Leave that pretty one with the blond hair for me!' Pippin cried.  
  
Soon the three hobbits and elf had rid the Shire of fan girls.  
  
"I must return to Isengaurd to meat up with Gandalf." Legolas said  
  
"Well, so long." The hobbits said.

* * *

Meanwhile Aragorn had come to Gondor to find his beautiful kingdom in peril. 100 or so fan girls were searching about. Most likely for him. He sighed and dismounted his horse. He charged into battle, lips ready. It took him nearly the better part of the day to rid the kingdom of fan girls.  
  
He remounted his horse and rode back to Isengaurd.

* * *

Legolas and Aragorn returned to Isengaurd to find the White Wizard in the mist of a rather amusing battle. The Plantier had been removed from the tower and was at his side Sauromon was on the foot of the tower, his robes in rags his hair messed. His mended staff in Gandalf's hand  
  
"Please Gandalf, old friend, have pity on me. I was only having a bit of fun." He pleaded.  
  
"You think destroying the integrity of the lands of Middle Earth amusing?" Gandalf roared.  
  
"Yes. I mean no dear friend."  
  
"I am not your friend."  
  
And with that the White Wizard cast Sauromon back into his tower with a wave of both staffs.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn fully satisfied left for Mirkwood.  
  
"Now dear elf, Tell me were my wife is. She was with you last was she not?"  
  
"Oh her, I believe she is in no need of your company." Legolas said.  
  
"What?" IT was then that Aragorn had noticed that Legolas had been holding the Plantier.  
  
"Elves can cast their own magic."  
  
As he said this, a shrill scream could be heard form the distant forest of Mirkwood, were Arowyn was being chased by a horde of young men, known as fan guys.

* * *

He he he he he he he he! I couldn't resist doing that to Arowyn. He he he he  
  
Let me know what you think.....R&R Please! 


End file.
